Letting him have his cake and eating it too.

Its weird to think how with each passing day i learn more about myself and how i am with people. I dont want to be predictable and i dont want to be "that girl" for whatever reason. How can I be happy in a relationship anymore? I've tried compromise, putting all in and now i fold. I'm all out and I quit. Not with life but growing in love. I'm not the right girls for relationships in general. How can someone love me for who I am, when i dont even know? I'm coming to every realization and every epiphany possible but I'm still not listening. Sure the solution would be to listen, but I dont think everyone understands that YOU are the hardest person to listen to. Whether it's your heart, mind, or will. Nothing is easy. How can I be better for someone else is my constant thought. Never how to better myself. Like a perfect example. Today i got a cat. Stray, lovable the works. Since my boyfriend isnt affectionate i thought i could channel it through an affectionate animal. My boyfriend on that note, can't stand cats. Why did i get one then after everything i just said about making other people happy? I was faintly attempting to do something for me. Needless to say we he came home and found little Jasper he wasn't too thrilled. My first thought was to get rid of him. I didnt stick to my guns and it shouldn't be like that at al for anyone. From one life trainee to another. Please stay true to yourself or you will lose it. You and everything else. P.S I still the have the Cat but now I'm now im in the rocks with love. There's no winning just constant racing.